You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're like a gay fantastic four
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
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