Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
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