her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
You're completely useless in the revolution.
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Randomize
