the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
