Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
I DONT KNOW HOW I'M NOT DEAD, JESUS CHRIST ON A DOUBLE DECKER FUCKING KEANU REEVES BUS
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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