marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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