Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
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