I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Drunk is not a location!
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Randomize
