But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I thought you died. Don't forget it's burger night.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize
