I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
