The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
