is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
I feel like every time I get the courage to masturbate to a guy from Game of Thrones, they kill him off.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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