I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Randomize
