Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
