I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
