i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize
