I wannas sexs uuuuu
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
