I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
