It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
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I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
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I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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