I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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