It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
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