I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just found my bra in a bag of chips on the kayak floating about the pond. Sure sign of a good night
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
