He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
My cat is watching me play with my new vibrator
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
