Porn is love you can see.
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
There was confetti in my vomit this morning... Happy New Year!!
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
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