Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
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