I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Randomize
