I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
