I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
Randomize
