Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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