so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize
