hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
Randomize
