you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
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