good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
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I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
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Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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