I just farted so loud that my cat got so scared he fell off the couch.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Randomize
