Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
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I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
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Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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