I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
