He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
