im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
