is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
