I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
