People in love make me want to vomit
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
