so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
My vagina makes bad decisions like its her job
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
