I think scott just propositioned me for sex
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
