We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
