that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
