actually, I'm a sock model
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
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