lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
one might say we're banned from that church
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Randomize
