Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
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