I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
