I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
