just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
