You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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