I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize