Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
