I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
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